LOST IN THE TRANSLATIONThe following is from the Gerard Hoffnung archives when, as a Tyrolean hotel owner, he replied to a woman making a booking request.Dear Madam:I am honourable to accept your impossible request.Unhappy it is, I here have not bedroom with bath. A bathroom with bed I have. I can, though, give you a washing, with pleasure, in a most clean spring with no one to see. I insist that you will like this...I am amazing diverted by your entreaty for a room. I can offer you a commodious chamber with balcony imminent to the romantic gorge, and I hope that you want to drop in.A vivacious stream washes my doorsteps, so do not concern yourself that I am not too good in bath, I am superb in bed.Sorrowfully I cannot abide your auto... Having freshly taken over the propriety of this notorious house, I am wishful that you remove to me your esteemed costume.Standing among savage scenery, the hotel offers stupendous revelations. There is a french widow in every bedroom, affording delightful prospects.I give personal look to the interior wants of each guests. Here, you shall be well fed-up and agreeably drunk. Our charges for weekly visitors are scarcely creditable.Peculiar arrangements for gross parties, our motto is "ever serve you right!"